los Nuevos Piratas del Caribe

The Russians aren’t coming, they’ve COME!

 Here they come.

Here they come.

Russian ‘pro’ and surf camp owner Sergey leads his crew of 30 Russian beginners out to the cliff overlooking La Preciosa Bay for their morning surf check. Out in the line up my peripheral vision alerts me to a collage of the brightest and freshest pinks, purples, reds and yellows beaming through the dull greens of the jungle. All the latest and shiniest surf gear is the trademark style of the nuevo surfistas

 Let the pillaging begin.

Let the pillaging begin.

Whilst the inspirational characters of the Hollywood blockbuster have long since sailed from this bay, Los Nuevos Piratas del Caribe or The New Pirates of the Caribbean are here in force. You now know two things, one that it must be 9.31 am and two, that your morning surf is about 29 minutes from being 30 people more crowded. 

 Stacked to the horizon, Los Russos style. 

Stacked to the horizon, Los Russos style. 

Actually, it’s really not that bad at all. By 10am your body needs food and a rest so the arrival of Sergey and his merry men is simply the Caribbean’s way of telling you its breakfast time. But before we eat, it’s time for some verbal judo with the Captain himself. See, Serey’s been around, including a bit of time in Australia, so he knows how to give and take the piss. One morning, after he gets his crew out the back, I say to him, “Jeez Sergey, you must be a pretty popular guy in Russia…” “Why is that?” he asks in all sincerity. “Because 30 of your best mates have come to visit! They must really miss you over there.”

 A fully fledged attack requires both air and sea strikes. 

A fully fledged attack requires both air and sea strikes. 

The next morning Sergey and his 30 pack greet me on the beach with a, “Good Morning, Retired Australian Thor,” implying my physique doesn’t do the Hemsworth-esque blonde hair and beard any favours. And on it goes, paddling circles around one another for priority, exchanging critiques of each other’s poorer national characteristics (turns out there are plenty on both sides) and I regularly encourage some of his newer students to seek refunds when they get pitched over the falls. 

 A digs a dig, right?

A digs a dig, right?

So the New Pirates of the Caribbean are here and judging by the amount of fun they are having, they’re here to stay. Luckily they found other things to do on this particular morning.

 Pre 9:31am solitude. Photo: Madelaine Dickie

Pre 9:31am solitude. Photo: Madelaine Dickie